Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Dem Bones

Rooting for the Dems is like rooting for the Rams. The current party looks like a bunch of losers all the time--even when they win. Even now, they have two high profile candidates out there, ensuring that no one really gives a shit about Grandpa Munster McCain (oh, except George Stephanopoulus...that tool still has a job after the recent botched debate?)...but all that glitz and glam and "rock star" or "historic" bullshit still has the whiff of failure in November. Not b/c Clinton or Obama couldn't win (will, Clinton couldn't) normally, but as most of the pundits are saying the eventual Democratic nominee for prez is gonna look like burnt brownschweiger when the hurlyburly's done and the battle's lost and won. And I'm talking about the's definition of "brownschweigher," which is even more gross than regular brownschweiger. We all know that America is still Dumbfuck Nation Central if McCain wins, but it has to be said that such an outcome would also permanently label the Dems as Loser Party Central. Seriously...what the fuck? You're gonna lose to Mister "100 Years in Iraq"? Mister Senile Fuckface who calls his wife a cunt? The total asshole who sings, "Bomb, bomb, bomb...bomb bomb Iran" as a fucking joke?

But fears about the election are prolly unfounded. Obama will prolly win the nomination, and when McCain brings up Rev. Wright and "godamn America," Obama will counter with ads that mention the words "trollup" and "unutterable obscenity" (with a link to the word "cunt" for the online ads). Hell, it may even be a blowout if McCain's clear mental illness continues to reveal itself (I'm rooting for a press conference where he says something like, "America must hunt down Al Qaeda. We'll kill those gooks no matter where they hide!").

Still, if Obama or Clinton becomes the next prez, I fear that both of them would find a way to NOT get us out of remain steadfast wusses in the face of all Republican opposition...and to honor that proud Democratic tradition of losing thru winning...which, if yer keeping score, is just plain fuckin' losing.


Blogger Rick said...

Well, continuing wid the Rams analogy: The Republicans are like the Rams in one sense--the old Super Bowl Rams were once described as not caring if the other team scored, because that meant they got the ball back all the sooner, they scored so often.
Well, the Republicans in 06 were probably like that. Let the Dems win, cause they'll fuck it up. And maybe it's like that in 08?

11:49 AM  
Blogger TXB said...

Also, the Republicans, like the Rams and all NFL teams, always maintain a homoerotic undercurrent to everything they do despite any surface denials of all things gay.

12:35 PM  

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