Gerry Gets Prosaic at The Porn Palace

Clerk: "Damn, dude...Tittilicious. I wuz gonna take this one home with me tonight."
Gerry: "That right there--your need to tell me that--shows how much you suck at your job."
Clerk: "How so?"
Gerry: "You would agree, I hope, that The Porn Palace is not here for your amusement?"
Clerk: "Sure. Okay."
Gerry: "Mighty white of you. In point of fact, you're here because it's your job."
Clerk: (with dripping sarcasm) "That is very true, Socrates."
Gerry: "And your job is to aid me in my quest to find the perfect jerkoff material."
Clerk: "Well, we also have dildos..."
Gerry: "So why would you point out that you wanted to take home Tittilicious?"
Clerk: "Jesus, dude. Chill. I wuz just joking around with ya."
Gerry: "So you don't want to take home Tittilicious?"
Clerk: "Well, of course I do. Who wouldn't want to take home Tittilicious?"
Gerry: "The point is you can choose from hundreds of other DVDs to take home."
Clerk: "Sure, but..."
Gerry: "Which--I don't even get how that's okay. Your boss lets you do that?"
Clerk: "Sure. If no one rents it, we get to take it home. Two vids max."
Gerry: "Right, but what if someone wants to rent it the next day?"
Gerry's Anima: "Maybe he's opening the store the next day."
Clerk: "Who's that?"
Gerry: "No one. Shut the fuck up."
Gerry's Shadow: "I say we burn this mother down."
Clerk: "I've got a gun. It's a shotgun. I'll shoot you in the face with it."
Gerry: "Calm down. Nobody's burning this mother down."
Gerry's Shadow: "Really? How come?"
Gerry's Anima: "Because there's no reason for it."
Gerry's Shadow: "Just as there's no reason for this jerkoff to guilt Gerry about renting Tittilicious."
Gerry: "Maybe jerkoff knows that Tittilicious is the best porno ever."
Gerry's Shadow: "Point is there's no reason to do anything. Or not to do anything."
Clerk: "Can you guys take this outside? I have to close up soon."
Gerry: "You're not closed yet, asshole. It's ten minutes till midnight."
Gerry's Shadow: "And it's ten seconds till you wear your own ass as a fedora."
Clerk: "Remember the gun, dude."
Gerry Shadow: "Fuck you. I'll string your entails around your mom's Christmas tree."
Clerk: "We're Jewish."
Gerry Shadow: "I'd love to see this dude's molecules merged with a giant porn slag. Let's burn this mother down!"
Gerry's Anima: "I suppose that's your idea of modern art."
Gerry: "Enough. I'm gonna teleport home and jerk off to Tittilicious now."
Gerry's Shadow: "Let's stop off at this dude's house and throw his dog into the next state."
Gerry: "No. I'm going home to jerk off. Tittilicious awaits!"

Gerry's Shadow and Anima melt back into his form and he vanishes, leaving the clerk alone in The Porn Palace. He mutters to himself, somewhat forlornly, "It really is the best porno ever."