"Sic a Dog on All You Know"

the txb review of "Prometheus"

Critic Rick Groen said it best: "There's definite mastery here, but it's hardly a masterpiece." And I for one thought director Ridley Scott could bottle lightning again and perhaps even outdo "Alien" with its prequel, "Prometheus" (he certainly had loads more cash and decades of new F/X advances with which to work). But no...a so-so story can still shoot all that down. Hey, it's not like I wuz expecting something wildly original, cuz it's not like "Alien" wuz big in that category, either. Really, it's just a monster movie in the end. But it's also scary as shit. "Prometheus," alas, is not, so we look to it for other charms: visually, it is kickass. Also, as usual, Michael Fassbender is utterly compelling. If his David the android (revealed early in the film--not a surprise) had only been made the main character throughout, it might have made the film a classic. That would have been original, perhaps: a constant nonhuman reference point as the humans are turned into Kibbles n' Bits. Fassbender is also good at having loads of meaningless sex and showing off his big dick in "Shame" (now on DVD, ladies and gay men!). Anyway, I recommend "Prometheus," but I would skip the 3-D version--it doesn't add much, and it makes the movie look too dim (now MF's dick in 3-D...that would put your eye out!).