Tim's Top Ten Worst Films of 2021

10. Venom: Let There Be Carnage - Yes, let there be Carnage! Oh, I guess we should have been more specific: let there be Carnage fighting Venom! You only get that in the last half hour of this crap.

9. Malignant - There's a really fun action scene near the end for the ACAB crowd, but otherwise this is more disposable horror movie garbage. Points, I guess, for being a little extra zany!

8. Spiral - It were mildly interesting to inject humor into the tired Saw franchise...as well as folks like Chris Rock and Sam Jackson. But it's still the same torture porn bullshit in the end that, like all the other sequels, never gets close to the cleverness of the original.

7. No Sudden Move - I dig director Steven Soderbergh, but dude is really losing his shit if he thinks this convoluted caper flick and last year's even worse Let Them All Talk are worthwhile films.

6. The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It - The devil made people make a third Conjuring movie. However, the devil also allowed viewers to see this random puree of horror movie clichés at home via HBO Max so they wouldn't get the virus. He's not a monster.

5. Wolf - This is one of them arthouse movies that you want to succeed cuz it clearly wants to communicate a message about how society treats The Other, but the premise is just too ludicrous.

4. The Father - Technically a 2020 flick but not released in theaters till 2021. Anthony Hopkins won the Oscar for Best Actor, so yes: a good actor can deliver a good performance in an excruciatingly boring piece of shit. Well, Tony Hopkins can. Prolly not the Rock.

3. The Resort - One of those cheapass movies that shouldn't even be a movie much less get released in theaters. I'd have felt really dumb if I'd gotten Covid from going to this horror schlockfest.

2. Don't Breathe 2 - Enjoyed the first flick, but the plot here is too ridiculous. I was super high when I watched it, but I'm convinced that seeing it straight would have only made things worse.

1. The Humans - A movie based on a play which somehow is more boring than any play could ever be. Inexplicably beloved by, like, all the critics but unwatchable for any normal human.

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