"24" Job Questionnaire

So they had the big annual four hour debut of "24" Sun. and Mon. nite (I finally got it--two nights, four hours--fucking "24," right?). And I will now spoil the shit out of it by saying that a nuclear bomb went off in California at the end of hour four. Poor Kiefer. Anyway, if you wanna work for the Counter-Terrorism unit that Jack Bauer works for, here's a few key questions from their job application:

1. Do you tend to develop romantic relationships with your co-workers during moments of national crisis and subsequently feel the need to have long boring cell phone conversations about how much you love each other when the terrorists are getting ready to kill us all?

2. Do you anticipate having petty disagreements with colleagues and being a total whiny bitch (note: this applies to both men and women), carrying on meaningless, endless squabbles while you're supposed to be relaying crucial intelligence info. to Jack Bauer or one of your other betters?

3. If I hire you, am I going to have to beat you over the head with a crowbar every five minutes to remind you that we are trying to save western civilization from total destruction, so we don't have time for your personal bullshit?