Monday, March 05, 2007

Lost Jesus

Thus ends one debate. If I ever have a mid-life crisis and decide to quit teaching to start a rock band, the band WILL be called, "Lost Jesus." End of story. In other Jesus news, did anyone see the James Cameron special last nite? And in still other Jesus newz, I took Gerry's post below as an invitation to investigate further the connection between Jesus and dinosaurs. I found an amusing entry in the Urban Dictionary online related to that topic, but more importantly I learned that people who live in urban areas have created many brand new and exciting ways to take the Lord's name in vain. Here's my favorite entry...and hopefully there's a trend in all dictionaries towards using the word or phrase in a passage which involves Batman and Robin:

Jesus "Lumps-of-Fat-Fucking" Christ

(exclamation): An alternative form of the phrase "Jesus 'Titty-Fucking' Christ," often used in response to intense anger, surprise, or joy by those who are more scientifically-oriented. Also used by those who have made the observation that tits are no more than blobs of fat on a woman's chest, and there's really no reason why men should be attracted to them.

Example: "Jesus Lumps-of-Fat-Fucking Christ Batman!" Robin exclaimed in exalting joy. "I believe the phrase is 'Jesus Titty-Fucking Christ,' and there's no reason for you to be yelling random expletives in the batcave--you remember what I said about using the Lord's name in vain," Batman wryly replied, a small smirk slowly sliding up his weathered cheeks. "Oh please, Batman," Robin replied, "that's so vulgar of you--we both know that 'titty' is such a silly word. And besides, what purpose is there in having sex with two lumps of fat? Shouldn't we just be honest about it? It's absurd." Robin stated very matter-of-factly. "Alright," Batman replied, "just don't come crying to me with your tightpants pulled clear up your ass when you go asking some girl if you can touch her lumps of fat."


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