Tuesday, January 22, 2008

The Killing Joke

This is an open letter to Heath Ledger's Ghost. Adioski, Mr. Ledger. I've never had strong opinions about you either way, but at the very least you were someone who had the good looks of a man who could have been a real tool because of his good looks...but you never seemed that way to me. Alas, after checking out yer filmography on IMDB, I wasn't all that impressed, and you were in one of the worst films of 2007 ("I'm Not There"); but at least, from what I've heard, you had the good sense to possess a certain amount of disdain for the films you were in. And, I gotta fess up...I never saw "Brokeback Mountain," which I really should have done by now. Perhaps your death will inspire me to rent the DVD. I'll say this, too: you look like one badass fucking Joker. When I first heard you were cast in the role, I thought about writing an open letter to Batman franchise director Christopher Nolan, and axing him, "Dude...what the fuck?! Heath Ledger? Really? That's the craziest motherfucker you could find to play the Joker?" But hey, I guess Mr. Nolan saw your dark side and made the right choice, cuz you look freak-deaky, my friend. Anyway, despite the fact that you might have checked out before "The Dark Knight" wuz totally in the can (a bit inconsiderate, hoss), I will say this: if you did commit suicide, then I applaud you for it. No, really. It doesn't have the dramatic flair of a stingray shot to the heart, but it's a little bit awesome if you offed yerself, and don't let any of these poor saps down here tell yer ghost any different. See, too many people wait till they're washed up has beens to commit suicide. They put it off till no one even gives a shit that they committed suicide. But you have made a bold step forward to make a bold statement to all the oh-so-far-less-than-bold drones shuffling through their ludicrous zombie lives thinking that any of the bullshit that happens on planet Earth means anything ever. And that bold statement to those lameass zombies is this: even hot dudes who have decent movie careers and prolly any hot chick they want in their beds each night have every right to swallow some pills and whisper "fuck you" to life before they drift off to the good, unbroken slumber of a dreamless eternal shore.
I hear that maniacal Joker laugh, buddy. Bravo. You nailed it.


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