The End of Imus

Well, I can see now that I wuz clearly wrong about this whole Don Imus controversy. As the "Daily Show" observed, the phrase "nappy-headed ho's" is obviously so offensive that every news anchor and commentator in America has said it on T.V. multiple times. The hope must be that the extreme overuse of those words in just a few days' time will rob them forever of their sting. I think we're well on our way to making that happen. Go news anchors! Also, I now see that Sharpton and Jackson were right to call for Imus' firing. It's, just, y'know... is that really enough? You fire some racist old white dude today, and there's a dozen racist old white dudes tomorrow ready to take his place. No, we need to make it so, even if broadcasters are willing to hire another racist old white dude, that all the racist old white dude shock jocks out there will be too afraid to take the job. How do we do that? Simple: we go old school Eskimo on Don Imus' ass. That's right, baby. We strip him naked and avert our eyes so that we won't throw up as he place him on a floating piece of ice somewhere in Alaska. This being Imus, we also will give him his gun with one round in the chamber in case the freezing cold gets too painful. We're not cruel. After that, this "antediluvian douche bag," as the esteemed Cardinal Egan recently called him, will be out of our lives forever...and we can forget about racisim in the U.S. and get back to killing brown people in other countries. Yay, America!