Terse TXB Reviews

________________________ "Pay no attention to the plain chick in the background."
Saw "10,000 B.C." and "The Bank Job" over the weekend. Both passed the time, but both were also variations on movies I'd seen before. "10,000 B.C." looked as if someone threw "300," "Apocalypto," and "Stargate" into a blender (same director as "Stargate," je pense). Who knew that dreadlocks were a 12,000 year old hair style? Also, you know we're running out of rallying cries when we go from "Tonight, we dine in hell!" (from "300") to "We must take them down" (or some shit...I can't remember). And "The Bank Job" wuz pretty much like every other heist movie you've ever seen, but with British accents...and more nudity (yay!). Somehow, Saffron Burrows (not naked at any time--there is no God!) manages to look good even while apparently starving to death. Jason Statham looks his usual bald badass self, but he threw us a curve this time by extending his usual 5 o'clock shadow to about 9 or 10 o'clock. He looks like one of those old cartoons of hobos...but, y'know, in better shape and not hiccuping.