Tuesday, July 29, 2008

The Sex Files

Saw The X-Files: I Want to Believe this past and apparently four or five other people in the whole country. Actually, I lost another stupid bet to G. over this one. I bet him 20 bucks that the flick would make at least 20 million its first weekend. We added another 5 dolla bet on top of that: if it made 25 million, G. would have owed me 25 bucks. If it made 15 or less, then I owed him 25. And that's what happened, cuz it only made 10 million. What the fuck?! I think every shitty Scary Movie ever made has come away with at least 20 million the first weekend. Ah well. I couldn't have anticipated the juggernaut that The Dark Knight would become (even in its second week) back when we made the bet, and I couldn't have predicted that, six years after the show ended, creator Chris Carter et al would come back to the table with a fairly conventional thriller and no new paranormal ideas (the only paranormal thang here is a psychic, and one of the FBI agents mentions that Mulder and Scully have dealt with psychics three times before). Apparently, we were supposed to be wowed here by the fact that Scully and Mulder are, y'know, doin' it. And it's implied that they've been doing it, off and on or maybe on all the time, for the last six years. Or, hell, maybe they've still never done it at all, because we don't actually get a sex scene. Maybe the paranormal idea here is that a man and a woman can sleep in the same bed and and snuggle but never fuck. G. thought they'd been living together all this time, but I thought Scully wuz just visiting Mulder for the occasional booty call. Of course, if they are sleeping together, the hilarious thing is that they're still calling each other by their last names! And, by the way, don't play a drinking game where you do a shot every time Scully says "Mulder," because you'll be on the floor of the movie theater choking on your own vomit before the film is half over. Seriously, one third of the words in this film must be "Mulder." That's any easy way to write a script. Is Scully worried that she might have early-onset Alzheimer's and is gonna forget who her lover is if she doesn't say his name constantly? Anyway, despite all the goofiness and lack of originality, I still dug this flick, but G. thought it wuz shite.


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