Student Essay Follies!

The Huntress requested mo' clazy student essay shenanigans, so here be two:

One of my students said he was at a Mexican restaurant with his aunt and uncle. They chatted with some drunk woman at the bar, and then this happened:

"The woman went up to my aunt and took her breasts out. She put a toothpick in one of her breasts and set it on fire."

The best part of that, of course, is that it sounds as if the aunt's breasts got pulled out. Actually, the drunk woman pulled out her own breasts.

Also, we have the dude who once said that the smell of pot in his neighborhood hit him like a "sludge hammer," but he went on to tell more entertaining tales from the STL 'hood:

"I remember when my momma busted my head. Now that shit's a life changing experience."