Lines of the Day

Along with a couple of my students, I came up with the following line for a short story or movie (although it will prolly find a home only on cable access):

"The only thing bigger than his heart was his enlarged prostate."

Or you could flip it and say, "The only thing bigger than his enlarged prostate was his heart. Which was also enlarged. Seriously, he needed to have operations on both his heart and his prostate right away" (assuming, of course, that they do operations for such conditions).

Apparently you can use that "The only thing bigger" setup with lots of different things and it's funny. Another student came up with this:

"The only thing bigger than his heart was his gambling addiction."

Of course, you could allude to Kenny B. for a gibbler audience:

"The only thing bigger than his heart was his addiction to Tai hookers."

And speaking of hookers, here's the best line I've heard so far from a new T.V. pilot. Sam's dad says that he and his friend "Sock" should go out and celebrate Sam's 21st B-day, and...

Sock: "I like the way you're thinking, Dad. Let's all get in a car, score some smack, and kill a hooker in Vegas!"