Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Kill Hill, Vol. I

So, another person got fired for speaking the truth. Funny how that happens. Politicians routinely lie they asses off all the live long day, and none of them ever get fired for that (gotta watch the whore-fucking, tho'--more on that later). Speak the truth, boy, and shame the fuckheads. You are going out! Hillary is, in point of fact, a monster. And by "monster" I mean someone who is, in some way, divorced from humanity. Hey, it's nothing to be embarrassed about. Even the TXB-machine hath been known to classify hisself as a monster before. I don't really care all that much about peeps in general, for example. This whole fucking planet could burn right down to the ground, and I'd prolly just start laughing. As the Joker sez, "It's all part of the plan." And that's why God is the ultimate monster. So really, Hillary, cheer up: you're God. Or, better yet: don't cheer up. Get very, very depressed and then shoot yourself in the fucking head with a high caliber revolver. Yeah. That second option. That's what I'd prefer.

But she ain't gonna do it, folks. Suicide is for quitters, and there'll be no blood on the pantsuit this election cycle. So it falls to our favorite man with the axe, Keith "I Eat Assholes For Breakfast--Oh Wait, That Didn't Come Out Right" Olbermann to do the job. On second thought, though, Olby m'boy, you better leave the axe at home and bring a surface to air missile launcher. Yes, it turns out that the other Mighty O is gonna do a Special Comment on the Hill tonight. And by "do a Special Comment on Hillary" I hope he means "put a stake through Hillary's shrivelled heart." Now, I'll admit: Olby's lost his mojo a bit, lately. Getting pissed off at Jon Stewart for making a joke about how Obama's name sounds almost as bad as a name like "Gaydolf Titler" just doesn't make a damn bit of sense to me. Sorry, Keith--but that shit wuz funny, and we needed a guy like JS to get out there and make a joke about BO's name before the Republican attack machine let the dogs of war slobber forth to Pittsburgh (which is just whut has happened lately).

In so many ways, tho', our gal Hill hath proven that she is nearly every bit the soulless Machiavellian anti-human that Karl Rove is (worried about terrorists killing your kids at 3 in the morning now, anybody?) I hope KO can finally KO that fucking robot for good and all. Oh, and here's yer Line of the Day on that whore-fucking matter, courtesy of Bill Maher: "I'm going to throw the remote through the TV if one more news twink says something on the order of 'When we come back, we'll look into what drives a successful man like Eliot Spitzer to risk it all...' Oh yes, let's convene a panel of experts for that. Let me help you: because he wants to get his nut off!"


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