Monday, September 21, 2009

Fuck Tech

As Bill Maher sez of all the gizmos that are supposed to be so cool..."the shit doesn't work."

And even when it does...fuck it.

Here's a poem I wrote about it, seeing yuppies work their Blackberries or whateverthefuck in Barnes and Noble the other day:

All these Gidgets with their gadgets,
all these bozos with their gizmos
can suck my analog dick.

They are all connected
to the same stupid world
that is all around us.

I wanna go back and live in the 80's, when we kept tech in its place. Y'ask me, that thar tech's gettin' too uppity. That's why my laptop collects dust and why I gave up having an internet connection at home years ago...the fucking viruses, and having to deal with the anti-virus software and the fucking quarantines and having to worry about which seemingly innocent website is gonna contain some Trojan horse that downloads kiddy porn onto my hard drive. No thank you.

Of course...supposedly none of these problems exist with a Mac. But fuck Mac anyway. And fuck Justin Long, too.

On a larger level, tho' is hard to fathom how America became so addicted to tech. Has all this shit really improved our lives in some dramatic way? Did we all just turn into geeks at some point and buy into Steve Jobs' bullshit about how we need to junk the old gizmo and buy a flashy new one every three years? Sheeee-it...even dim bulb Britneys get wet panties these days from fucking "apps" on their goddamn iPhones. Is this the bizarro world? I feel like I'm taking crazy pills!

Y'know, the title character in the movie The Tao of Steve sez that tech is saving us time, but that no one's doing anything all that important with the extra time...just working longer hours or fucking around. Which would be fine if it stopped there, but it seems more and more like we have to shove tech into everything we do, whether it helps or not. I suppose someday I'll have to teach one or more totally online classes, even tho' I've heard from other teachers that it's a nightmare, actually takes MORE time than teaching a traditional class, and has a higher dropout rate. Also, who gets into teaching so that they can stare at a monitor all day and never see the students? I got into teaching so that I wouldn't have to do that horseshit.

It's funny, tho' a college administrator, it's somehow better teaching to have notes on PowerPoint than to write the same shit on the blackboard with chalk that prolly costs a million times less than the tech. When the big terrorist EMP knocks out all our gizmos, tho', I'll still be able to pick up a piece of chalk and go to work (assuming I don't die of a heart attack riding my bike to school).