Friday, February 29, 2008

Such a lot of pain on this earth

Have a nice summer and be safe out there on the roads, You Infidels.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Green Tea...Really?

The yahoos at Yahoo are worried about my bad skin and blood pressure, and for once I have to admit that they make green tea sound pretty fucking awesome. I'm just waiting for the research which shows that GT is also a great renewable energy source and will end our oil addiction...

BTW...the parenthetical addition to the title wuz my idea.


7 Reasons to Drink Green Tea (No...We're Serious)

The steady stream of good news about green tea is getting so hard to ignore that even java junkies are beginning to sip mugs of the deceptively delicate brew. You'd think the daily dose of disease-fighting, inflammation-squelching antioxidants--long linked with heart protection--would be enough incentive, but wait, there's more! Lots more.

CUT YOUR CANCER RISK--Several polyphenols - the potent antioxidants green tea's famous for - seem to help keep cancer cells from gaining a foothold in the body, by discouraging their growth and then squelching the creation of new blood vessels that tumors need to thrive. Study after study has found that people who regularly drink green tea reduce their risk of breast, stomach, esophagus, colon, and/or prostate cancer.

SOOTHE YOUR SKIN--Got a cut, scrape, or bite, and a little leftover green tea? Soak a cotton pad in it. The tea is a natural antiseptic that relieves itching and swelling. Try it on inflamed breakouts and blemishes, sunburns, even puffy eyelids. And that's not all. In the lab, green tea helps block sun-triggered skin cancer, whether you drink it or apply it directly to the skin - which is why you're seeing green tea in more and more sunscreens and moisturizers.

STEADY YOUR BLOOD PRESSURE--Having healthy blood pressure - meaning below 120/80 - is one thing. Keeping it that way is quite another. But people who sip just half a cup a day are almost 50 percent less likely to wind up with hypertension than non-drinkers. Credit goes to the polyphenols again (especially one known as ECGC). They help keep blood vessels from contracting and raising blood pressure.

PROTECT YOUR MEMORY, OR YOUR MOM'S--Green tea may also keep the brain from turning fuzzy. Getting-up-there adults who drink at least two cups a day are half as likely to develop cognitive problems as those who drink less. Why? It appears that the tea's big dose of antioxidants fights the free-radical damage to brain nerves seen in Alzheimer's and Parkinson's.

STAY YOUNG--The younger and healthier your arteries are, the younger and healthier you are. So fight plaque build-up in your blood vessels, which ups the risk of heart disease and stroke, adds years to your biological age (or RealAge), and saps your energy too. How much green tea does this vital job take? About 10 ounces a day, which also deters your body from absorbing artery-clogging fat and cholesterol.

LOSE WEIGHT--Oh yeah, one more thing. Turns out that green tea speeds up your body's calorie-burning process. In the every-little-bit-counts department, this is good news!

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

A milestone

For those who actually care, it was on this date February 26, 1997 that all 3 members of Rush received the esteemed Order of Canada medal, the highest civilian award from the Canadian government. The award was for significant achievements in the important fields of human endeavors.

Monday, February 25, 2008

"Words and clips and phrases"

First, the student essay oddities:

"She refused to take an I.V. She was an old fashioned lady."

"Just by how many great things there are about the bed, I feel that, if it were to have a taste, its taste would be like a refreshing Coke or Pepsi."

As for Line of the Day contenders, we have these two entries from a British men's magazine (I guess they call'em "laddie mags" there, cuz they're British)...and, by the way, the cats who write for those kinda magazines may just be the funniest damn SOBs on the planet. Anyhoo, this mag called Front ranked the top 50 fittest babes. In addition to mentioning "The Girl From Hansen" somewhere on the list, we have these two hi-larious entries:

#8--Sasha Grey: "A self-proclaimed 'existential porn star,' Sasha combines a lot of things we love--mild pretentiousness, glacial beauty, and a tendency to take it up the wrong'n on camera."

#18--Scarlett Johansen: "Ever since that hypnotic close-up of her arse in the opening credits of Lost in Translation, we've had a thing for Scarlett--that 'thing' being an angry boner with 'Kiss me LOL' written on it."

Finally, filling out the day's naught quote quota, we have this observation from middle aged hard boiled musician Nick Cave:

"There's only a certain amount of songs you can write about pussy, murder, and God. I still have a few left in me."

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Snow Daze

Ah, a four day weekend induced by a mere inch or two of ice on the ground. The ol' college try ain't whut it used to be, and that's just fine by yers trooly. A couple of weeks ago, we got a three and a half day weekend under similar circumstances. The snow god (his name is Bobo) is totally down with us college profs having kickass long weekends! Of course, bowling night wuz cancelled, so Bobo doesn't have all of our priorities in mind. Anyhoo, during the last ice storm, I watched some cool movies while half-assedly grading papers, and I came across an unknown jem on the new release shelf known as The Amateurs. It's got a great cast, headed by Jeff Bridges...and if you've ever wondered what his Jeffrey Lebowski character in The Big Lebowski might have been like if he'd moved to a small down and, after a string of failed enterprises, decided to make a feature length amateur porn movie with the locals...well, this is the film for you.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Crazy Comes to Town

So, I hear tell from Carroll Garten that the Fred Phelps fuck is gonna drive the kool aid bus to DeKalb, IL, and picket at NIU about God hating fags, victims of the shooting spree burning in hell, blah, blah, yada yada. It wouldn't be an advisable legal or moral thing to do, of course, but I could imagine some distraught soul might take it upon himself to convert a few batshit (non)Baptists into the victims of yet another shooting spree if such unpardonable protests were allowed to interfere with the grieving of survivors or family members. Funny...then the remaining members of Phelps's church would have to say that the slain from their very own congregation (their pastor included, if the gunman has any kind of aim) were killed because God hates fags...and that the good Christan churchgoers were roasting in hell.

But no. The irony would be delicious, but irony isn't as much fun when it comes with a pile of dead bodies (axe Brush about that). Phelps be crazy, but I guess the best approach is to treat him like you would the mentally ill dude yelling shit out in a New York subway: ignore the fuck out of him, and walk faster. To acknowledge such insanity at this point--beyond keeping it cordoned off to the side as best as possible in public--is prolly beyond useless since there really seems to be no danger that Phelps will convert anyone to his way of thinking. Bill Maher once pointed this out with Pat Robertson, saying that P.R.'s batshit quotes always get mentioned in the media even tho' he's just a quirk or two away from barking mad on the streets with feces on his face (or something to that effect). Do we really care, for example, that the asylum residents are racists or homophobic or don't like "House"? (well, I did get into a fight with this severely bipolar guy once about "House"...)

In a way, though, I'm at least just a little perversely amused by whut Phelps does with the dead Iraq vets...not b/c I think it's cool or in any way logical--it's lame and stupid--but it does kind've extend the illogic of the fundamentalist Christian movement. Robertson's buddy Faldwell kicked off that line of thinking by saying that God let innocent peeps get snuffed (most of them, presumably, Christians) on 9/11 because He really, really hates queers and strippers. So if that were true, why wouldn't God have the onward Christian soldiers in his crosshairs, too? It is a fucking shame, though, that the absurdity of the anti-gay fundamentalist crusade has to be pointed out at the expense of those who are grieving for lost loved ones.

Thursday, February 14, 2008


If anyone has any affection or regard for McCain anymore or thinks he would be a good leader, then you might want to know that he just stuck his last shred of credibility into the shredder. He's all about the torture now. Hey, maybe he's had some time to think it over and has decided that he likes it after all. Maybe he wants the gooks to spank him or jab hot pokers up his ass. Wouldn't be the first deranged white Elephant to get his kinks the hard way.

If that's not selling your soul, then we have no souls to sell. Maybe it's just being a sell out motherfucker. Not an uncommon thing in America, of course, but when you also sell yer fellow soldiers down the river by pretty much guaranteeing that they'll be tortured now when they're captured...well, Jesus Christ, Senator: who the fuck are you?

Line of the Day

Scene from a strip club...

Vera: "Do you mind?"
Otis: "Do I mind if you rub my dick?"
Vera: "Yeah."
Otis: "No. Saves me the trouble."

--from The Amateurs

Saturday, February 09, 2008

Big Goddin'

OK, for all of you (Tim) interested in watching 90 minutes of a debate on God, here's one between Rabbi Shmuley Boteach and Chris Hitchens.

Friday, February 08, 2008

Big Pimpin'

Okay, I'll say it the way that David Shuster can't anymore because MSNBC is a network run by gutless scumfucks: Bill and Hillary are complete political whores, and they are turning Chelsea into a political whore as well.

Line of the Day

"I don't think the Romney campaign ever recorvered from the fact that Mitt Romney is a douche bag."

--Jason Jones, "The Daily Show"

Thursday, February 07, 2008

Line of the Day

Tim: "I'm pretty sure that Nip/Tuck is the only place where I can hear the word 'bukkake' on television."

Skyler: "What's that?"

Tim: "Oh, you know...a porno where a bunch of guys jerk off onto a woman."

Skyler: "I considered myself a better man before I knew that."

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

"I'm high as a kite and I'm going to Disneyland!"

The quote is from Dennis Leary. Can't remember what he wuz talking about. Anyhoo, seems I can no longer spell check or add pictures to my posts, but fuck it: I'm pressing on.

So, Sir Ledger died after taking OxyContin, Vicodin, Valium, Xanax, Restoril, and Unisom...and it's ruled a fucking accidental overdose?! Take notes, all you would be suicides who want to cover up your dirty deed: if you take all the pills in one bottle, it's an overdose; if you take two of everything in the medicine cabinet, it's an "accident!" By the way, Heath Ledger's ghost...I gotta axe you: did you really need all that shit to cope with being young, hot, and successful? Come on, give me something to work with: really bad case of tinnitus? Incurable erecticle dysfunction? The fucking heartbreak of psoriasis!? I'm trying to feel for ya, buddy, but...

Monday, February 04, 2008

Dancing Lizards? The Fuck?!

Lame Superbowl. Lame commercials. I just hope Scotty wuz able to get some enjoyment out of it, because I'm pretty sure the rest of American slipped into a Dorritos-and-beer coma before the mildly diverting fourth quarter arrived. But hey, that's just my opinion. If you want the opinion of a guy who suffers from mad cow disease and the after-affects of getting hit in the head 80, 354 times, then listen to the wisdom o' Bradshaw: "It wuz one of the greatest Superbowls ever!"'re not counting all the superbowls where more than one touchdown wuz scored by the end of the third quarter? Well, damn...then yer prolly right, TB!

Oh, poor Tom Brady. I just hope his maid remembers to call 9-1-1 right away and doesn't dick around making calls to Mary-Kate Olsen, first. And I hope that when one of those Giants sacked his ass, he whispered to TB, "This one wuz for the Rams, asshole!"

Also, can we get any non-AARP members to host the superbowl halftime show ever again? Tom Petty...Prince...The Rolling Stones...Bono. The youth of America are yawning, people! If we wanna get them to unplug from their damn video games and ipods for ten minutes and celebrate a great American ritual of pop culture, we might have to occasionally let some singer or group born after 1980 take the big stage. Now, I know Justin Timberlake violated all our most sacred taboos by exposing a black nipple to the world, but I think we've all moved on enough from that trauma to have a Nelly or a Nelly Furtado take the stage (Just. Don't. Let. It. Be. Hannah. Montana.).

Finally, enough about how awesome the superbowl commericals are. They're not. They're lame. Case in point: Naomi Campbell takes time off from smashing people in the head with cell phones to be a hot chick (okay so far) in a Sobe Life Water (whatever the fuck that is) commerical...and (oh, there really should not be an "and") caps it off by dancing with multi-colored lizards using the dance movies and tune of Michael Jackson's "Thriller" video. Okay, seriously...what is the writing process for commerials? Just throw a bunch of pop culture shit into a blender and see what happens? Ah, I can hear Terry B. now: "Best superbowl commercial ever!"

Four More Years

You know, it's can you fault the Republican base when they mostly just had a pack of assholes to choose from? Well, how about this: they had Ron Paul, too. Yes, Republican voters could have picked the one sane man in their party running for prez. Or, I dunno...maybe the RP conspiracy theorists are right, and the mainstream media made sure that Paul never got very far. But...McCain? Wow, didn't see that coming. I wuz sure that, about six or eight months ago, McCain's dementia had progressed to the point where he actually believed he could be the Republican nominee. I guess, all things considered, if I had to pick just one asshole to be the guy, it would have been Right Said Fred Thompson. Problem is, he's said things that are just as psychotic as McCain has. Well, I guess they all have. At least Giuliani is fucking gone. Part of McCain's psychosis is purely age or war-related, no doubt, but Giuliani was just plain mean-bastard-kinda crazy. Still, I can't help noticing that with McCain we would have the Second-Most-Likely-To-Be-Just-Like Brush fuckhead in office. Just swap dumbass for crazy, mix in maybe just a modicum more of intelligence with equal parts beligerence and stubornness, and factor in prolly an even greater willingness to sell out your values to be Prez...and you've just transformed Brush into McLame. If we elect this douche bag president--when we say we want the war over NOW and he sez it may take a hundred years or more--then we are truly the stupidest fucking country that ever organized itself...and all those songs about how great America is should be retired on President McCain's inauguration day.

Sunday, February 03, 2008

O is Oh So Clo

So, folks, who's camp you all in? For what it's worth, Obama is now mo o less tied with Hillary in California. As of, well, like, this morning, she was up by 7.

And, as for the MO story.
In Missouri, Obama has solid leads in the St. Louis region (16 points), with Independents (7 points), young voters (16 points), and African Americans (62%-26%). He also leads among moderates and men. Clinton leads in Kansas City (7 points), in the Southwest (16 points), and among liberals (8 points), women (5 points), and among voters over 65 (25 points).

(It's Sir Edmund Hillary. OK? I'm running out of Hillary's. ... Oops, didn't Tim say they oughta be more attractive than Clinton? What's that you say? He wasn't all that bad looking? Yeah, your're right.)