Monday, November 24, 2008

Oh yeah...txb does get hisself into some beefs

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Apropos to Mary Ann's Donuts on Broadway and Henderson in Cape. Or not.

Yeah, just what I say.

Get Up, Stand Up

Awwwww, yeeeeah.

Thu Illuminatorz

So I was enjoying the post from TXB re: The Popcorn Swindle, and I clicked on the picture for a bigger view. Well, what do I see on that banner, below the JeffCo dealy-o? Some faded, obstensibly motion-picture-themed, symbol. But, I dunno, methinks it has traces of Masonry. Could I get some help from my brothers and sisters on deciphering this? I think the horizontal purple/blue lines are definitely reminiscent of Illuminati. No doubts.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

The Entire Ho Family History

The Entire Ho Family will one day run this entire nation, and we will learn at such point from a tell all book by Danielle Ho that the great exiled patriarch of the Ho clan--Dan's grandpappy, whose name really is 'Entire'--had been living in a van down by the river lo these many years, occasionally having anonymous gay hobo sex and paying for hobo women he doesn't even know to get abortions...and waiting for the chance to launch his revolution from the basement of the Entire Becker Family in the year 2010. It seems that Entire--the illegitimate son of Hồ Chí Minh and Sophia Loren--wuz kicked out of Chi-Town back in the day by Obama because Ho called the then little known community organizer an Oreo. However, in keeping with the "team of rivals" notion (from Doris Kearns Goodwin's book on Lincoln), which hath prompted the Obaminator to consider crazy Hillary for Secretary of State and to allow Joe "I Shit on Democrats Even Tho' I Am One" Lieberman to stay in the Democratic party and retain all his seniority and most of his committees, Obama will eventually make a friend out of an enemy and select Entire as his Race Relations Advisor. As everyone knows, the newly created RRA position is a stepping stone to great political power in these United look out, America. The Ho Dynasty is coming.

Above: An anonymous gay hobo who had sex with Dan Ho's grandfather in a van down by the river participates in a political protest over the Democrats' decision to allow Senator Joe Lieberman to remain as head of the Homeland Security Committee.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

The Entire Ho Family Part Two

To continue on with our story of the entire Ho family... First of all, I am happy to say that the Ho family was not killed by the people with drug problems. To celebrate this, I spent 40 thousand on my house to make it presentable to the entire Ho family. I created a new room in my basement for them to spend the rest of their happy Ho family lives. When the brothers and sisters from the hood get enough sense to invade the rest of rural america- the entire Ho family will find that my house is only safe place to live (even if they are chinese- not white). I will save my Obama political signs for when this day comes- so that my house will be passed. As for these other houses, me (and the entire Ho family) will steal all of the guns, kill babies, and maybe give them gay sex- because- they are stupid enough to think that urban america is good for nothing more than what was mentioned above (guns, killing, gay sex...).

Friday, November 14, 2008

Line of the Day

A conversation about implementing standardized testing at the college level...

Shirley (our boss): "The one thing we can't do is say we won't do it."

TXB: "Damn! The very thing we wanted to do!"

Thursday, November 13, 2008

If you get between txb and his bigass bowl of popcorn, txb will definitely fuck your shit up

Monday, November 10, 2008

New minimalist fiction by txb, beeotch!

Knowing Your Place

I'm waiting to see the non-shrink. I need to stay on this script. Can't take any more personal days this year. No more sick days, either. The non-shrink is a nurse practitioner with an expertise in prescribing anti-anxiety meds. Apparently, they save the actual shrinks for the real crazies--or people with better insurance. I'm waiting for my ten minutes to tell the non-shrink that all's well, I'm coping just fine with the stress, like a trooper, and no, I haven't had any new panic attacks. Then get the script and make an appointment with Cheryl on the way out for thirty days from now. Or maybe sixty, if the non-shrink thinks I'm getting better.

Others are waiting for their ten minutes, too. Some chick who looks pissed off. Some guy with a Bible. When in enters a dude with taped up glasses and a jacket that he's holding with both hands like a security blanket. First, he sits two seats away from the pissed off chick, then he moves...sits right next to her. Clearly, a crazy. He grips the jacket tighter, wrings it like an infant's neck. The pissed off chick is called in for her ten.

Time slips by and the Bible thumper is called in next. I look at the fish in the aquarium and consider paying extra to see an actual shrink next time, but I figure they're not any more punctual. Finally, my name is called, and as I rise to perform this little ritual to remain on the straight and narrow road of sanity and productivity, I hear the jacket man mutter, "I don't think I should even be here."

I'm not sure if I'm trying to be helpful or not when I say, "You just said that out loud. So yeah: you should be here."