The Top Ten Best Movies That I Saw in 2020

1. Mank (2020) - It's black and white! It's on Netflix! Why are you so lazy that you haven't seen this David Fincher masterpiece? I blame your parents, really.

2. Underwater (2020) - A truly amazing and comically (sad comedy) underrated mashup of Alien, The Abyss, and maybe one or two other kickass sci-fi flicks. This movie is better than the first Wonder Woman (sorry, just threw that last bit in for Wesley, lol).

3. What Keeps You Alive (2018) - Don't even want to say what this one is about. Don't want you to read the plot synopsis, either. Just watch the movie.

4. The Vast of Night (2019) - UFOs? Definitely maybe. An Amazon movie. Okay, goddammit, I guess I'm glad that I'm a fucking Prime member again.

5. Ammonite (2020) he best lesbian romance film since Blue Is The Warmest Color. The romance here is more mature, more dangerous, maybe more desperate--but the aching to love and be loved expressed by paleontologist Mary Anning (Winslet) and depressed as hell housewife Charlotte Murchison (Ronan) is just so raw, so fucking beautiful, that I don't know why anyone would give a fuck if it actually happened. Hell, if I become famous and they make a movie about me someday, feel free to say Tom Cruise and I shared a forbidden love until he made me do skydiving with him or sumshit and we died doing what we loved: being with Tom Cruise.

6. The Assistant (2019) - Wesley and I saw this flick at the Tivoli, pre-pandemic. Great slow burn character study. Kind've a bummer.

7. The Lodge (2019) - Think Wesley and I saw this'un at Ronnies; again, pre-pandemic. We say "Two thumbs up" to this creepy indy horror flick. Will Siskel and Ebert sue us? Sadly no...they're dead.

8. The Rhythm Section (2020) - A reasonably kickass revenge thriller starring Blake Lively that somehow ain't cool with the cool kids (or most average moviegoers). Also better than the first Wonder Woman.

9. All In: The Fight for Democracy (2020) - After I saw this doc, I thought, "Sounds like democracy's getting its ass kicked." Then the election happened months later, then Georgia happened, and I thought, "Huh. Stacey Abrams kicked the asses of those who were kicking democracy's ass. God bless her."

10. Extraction (2020) - Mostly mindless action scenes someone strung together till they reached movie length, I suppose, but damn: some action scenes!

 The Top Ten Worst Movies That I Saw in 2020

1. The Isle (2020) - Something, something, ghosts, sirens, something.

2. Exposure (2018) - There wuz a monster's penis, or maybe a tongue, rubbed up against a lady's face. I blanked out the rest.

3. Selfie From Hell (2018) - A horror movie revolving around selfies. I've said enuff.

4. They Remain (2018) - Dumbass low budget sci-fi shit that deserves no witty slams.

5. Ghost Light (2018) - Someone made a movie about performing Macbeth and they ended up with a cursed piece of shit. Shocker.

6. Tone-Deaf (2019) - You think, "Robert Patrick elevates every movie he's in!" then you see this fucked up thriller and think, "Okay, the man's not a miracle worker!"

7. Warning Shot (2018) - David Spade plays the heavy in a bunch of small town crime bullshit, so you know the casting director wuz high af.

8. Harpoon (2019) - If I wuz to pick one movie on this list that I think sum of you twisted fucks might like, I guess I'd pick Harpoon. But it blows.

9. She Dies Tomorrow (2020) - I dig most of what I've seen of the Amy Seimetz oeuvre, but this is nearly nonsensical art house garbage.

10. Possessor (2020) - A movie with a level of gore that makes even me say, "Gross." Also, it's about a sociopath who just becomes more and more sociopathey till the end. We got enuff of that on the teevee--with more interesting plot twists--in the last four years.

Gary's Top Ten Best & Worst Flicks of 2019

 

Tim's Top Ten Best Flicks of 2019

 

Tim's Top Ten Worst Flicks of 2019